Clarity

Clarity? I think I figured it out. I enjoy climbing! I enjoy that it is hard, that it is a challenge. I don't enjoy training. I do enjoy being strong.

See my dilemma?

I think I will just keep trying to find projects that inspire me to train for them and "just keep on trucking". This year I have done hard problems (for me), but I haven't really done any training for this except to go out and enjoy myself, often. I feel that I am continually getting stronger and this though causes my dilemma. What if? OK I am going to try to be content with how I am. I am improving, I am strong (even if only for me, but why should I compare myself to others?), and although I do have times that are tough, I am enjoying myself.

Conclusion: Keep climbing! It's also the challenge that keeps it interesting.